Emily Ladau:
Hi, I’m Emily Ladau.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And I am Kyle Khachadurian.
Emily Ladau:
And you’re listening to another episode of The Accessible Stall.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Emily, what are we going to talk about today? I wonder how many permutations in every different way I’ve asked you that question over these so many years?
Emily Ladau:
And every time I can’t just give you a straight answer. I can’t be like, “Well, Kyle, today we’re going to talk about,” instead I have to be like, “Let’s derail the conversation five seconds after you ask me the question.” Okay. Here’s the deal. Kyle and I were talking before we started recording and we’re like, what are we in the mood to talk about, because that’s how we do this podcast flying by the seat of our pants. I’m not wearing pants, I’m wearing a dress, but the point remains, and we were thinking about the fact that we haven’t been releasing episodes as frequently as of late because there’s a lot going on in our lives and then I just asked out of the blue, when was the last time we did an episode on self-care?
Kyle Khachadurian:
And do you know what the answer is? 2017.
Emily Ladau:
2017. Oh my God. That hurts my soul.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. So that is what we’re going to talk about today.
Emily Ladau:
Because it has been six years since we decided it was important to talk about taking care of ourselves. Wait, did I do that math right? We released it March of 2017. So more than six years?
Kyle Khachadurian:
I think so, yeah.
Emily Ladau:
Look, I’m not a numbers person. I’m a words person. The point is, we haven’t talked about what it means to take care of ourselves in so long that we probably need a wellness check or something.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And that is what this episode is. It’s a mutual wellness check. Emily, are you, well?
Emily Ladau:
Kyle-
Kyle Khachadurian:
We had the same exact thought.
Emily Ladau:
I was going to be like, Kyle… You know what, I think well is a loaded concept. I’m not really sure how I’m doing.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Let’s unpack that.
Emily Ladau:
Would you say there’s a lot to unpack here?
Kyle Khachadurian:
I would. I would.
Emily Ladau:
In my personal and professional life, I have been afforded much privilege and I feel incredibly lucky. That being said, I think it’s okay to admit that sometimes you just feel like you are trying to keep your head above water and you’re a little bit drowning and you’re trying to figure out how to sustain yourself and for me, when someone asks me how I’m doing, well, is so loaded because my body is often hurting. I am often tired. I often don’t feel well. I’m functioning, so I’ve actually taken to sometimes saying, “Hey, I’m functioning. I’m existing. I’m living, but I don’t know if I feel well,” and how about you, Kyle?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Living the dream is a common, how are you answer in my life. No, but I mean seriously though. I don’t think I’ve ever actually sincerely said that to how are you, but I echo your sentiment, right? I am full of privilege in my life. However, life is still life and it comes at you fast and it’s sometimes a lot.
Emily Ladau:
And I mean, people have this conversation all the time when you say, “How are you?” And it’s like, “Good, how are you?” And it’s like you’re full of (beep).
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Well, that’s just what you’re supposed to say. It’s not a real question.
Emily Ladau:
I know, but I have taken to trying to be a little more real in my answer. I mean, obviously not to some random person.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I actually would love that though. I would watch a series on that. If you just answered how you really were to random people who asked you, I would find that very funny.
Emily Ladau:
Have you ever watched the show Bully on the Street?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Because we would make it so awkward for them. No, but I’ve-
Emily Ladau:
Oh, okay. So he runs around and literally just says whatever is on his mind to people on the street, and I actually think that would be a great show.
Kyle Khachadurian:
There you go. See, that’s my exact type of humor. I love that stuff.
Emily Ladau:
It’s a disabled person running around and then everyone’s like, “Ew, who let you out of the house?”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes, exactly.
Emily Ladau:
I’m obviously kidding.
Kyle Khachadurian:
We let ourselves out.
Emily Ladau:
But I want to talk about what we are actually doing for self-care. I know that a lot of people listen to the podcast just as a way to feel solidarity, to unwind, to be like, “Hey, I feel seen.” So I hope that you will actually reach out to us and let us know what you do to take care of yourselves.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, because who knows, you might give us new ideas.
Emily Ladau:
Right, but what are you doing? Also, I had to laugh. Before you answer this question, I’m looking back at the episode that we did on self-care, episode 26, self-Care and Silliness, and we literally have an actual outline of self-care suggestions.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Who were we? Who were we?
Emily Ladau:
I can’t believe this.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Are they good?
Emily Ladau:
Pause to… It’s pretty common to worry that if you pause to focus on yourself, you’re giving up valuable time for activism. Remember, it’s okay to disengage. Also, remember, we’re not here to be authorities and there’s more, but these are the highlights.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh my God. Who were those people? It was a simpler time.
Emily Ladau:
At the beginning it says, “So many people think, but I’m too busy for self-care.” I’m too busy to write a thing about self-care right now.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. I can’t imagine either one of us doing that, but I know one of us did do it. I don’t know which one.
Emily Ladau:
Now I’m just like, “Hey, here’s the podcast episode.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Wow, good job past us.
Emily Ladau:
You know what? Okay, I know we’re just being ridiculous right now, but in all sincerity, I think what this is pointing to is, for me at this point, self-care actually sometimes looks like minimal effort and I know that that sounds like such a cop out, but it just means that not everything needs to be perfect all the time.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Yeah. I think you asked what I do for self-care and I struggled to remember what my hobbies are, and then I remembered, but it’s like the fact that I had to think about the fact that I love to play video games and cook. I’m like, oh, yeah, right. I’m a whole person.
Emily Ladau:
I love that you love to cook, because I do not.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I like to eat, and so I have to love to cook. I don’t have to, but I don’t know if I like cooking or if I just like the fact that I get to eat something good after I do it. You know what I mean?
Emily Ladau:
This would be a great time for HelloFresh to sponsor this podcast.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I am a huge HelloFresh fan, so if you’re listening, because it’s an accessibility thing. I don’t pay for the food. I really do pay for the convenience. Yeah.
Emily Ladau:
Are we about to go back to the oranges conversation?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Listen, I’m a changed man, okay. I fully value paying for convenience. No self-care. You got to make time for yourself, especially because I know you work from home and I still work from home and when you do that, when home is work and work is home, you really have to separate where you mentally-
Emily Ladau:
My mom got me a T-shirt for my birthday and it said, “Am I working at home or living at work?”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Can I get one of those? Put that… I’m going to turn my camera on every Zoom.
Emily Ladau:
The other she got me, they’re just like sleeping T-shirts. The other one says, “Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Also true.
Emily Ladau:
So I think that is a summary of about where I am in my life these days. I struggle to get up sometimes, to be honest with you, and this is not depression talking. This is literally just my body being like, “Oh, but horizontal feels so good.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
But you know what’s funny you say that because depression is a real thing and sometimes, not recently, I’ve been on a good streak recently, but there have definitely been times in my life where I have had to actually wonder, am I depressed or is this just what my body is letting me do, which is such a strange thought.
Emily Ladau:
That’s got to be an early 2000s era punk rock band song. Am I depressed?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. That sounds like a full on Bart song actually. It really does. Oh God, I didn’t do that on purpose, but you’re right.
Emily Ladau:
The other thing that is very different between then and now for me is I have a therapist.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes, yes. Key difference between that and now for me as well. Very helpful. This episode is not sponsored by BetterHelp, however…
Emily Ladau:
Well, isn’t there a whole dialogue about how BetterHelp is actually really problematic?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, I have no idea. I don’t use them. I have a guy.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, I feel like every time I see something that’s sponsored by BetterHelp, there’s people in the comments being like, “BetterHelp is a scam.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, well, okay.
Emily Ladau:
I don’t know. Actually, I know not what-
Kyle Khachadurian:
When does therapy works and is very helpful.
Emily Ladau:
Therapy’s great. Therapy’s not a scam.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No.
Emily Ladau:
I am, as I was not six years ago, taking much better care of my mental health.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I am as I was not six years ago, taking care of my mental health. I was not doing it at all and you shouldn’t do that unless there’s some barrier that you cannot control. You really should not, not take care of your mental health. You can help it in any way and can afford it.
Emily Ladau:
Also, okay, another difference, Emily, six years ago was in her mid 20s and really…
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, that’s a really good point.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. That’s a hard inch, and this is not me passing judgment.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, no. We’ve all been there.
Emily Ladau:
That’s just a really hard time for figuring yourself out.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, because you’ve only been a real adult for, what, three years at that point when you’re in your mid 20s. You’re like freshly=
Emily Ladau:
I’m not a real adult now.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s what… Yeah, exactly. Right.
Emily Ladau:
It’s actually really funny because I had physical therapy this morning and my physical therapist generally works with pediatric patients, but she’s been seeing me since I was a pediatric patient for more than half my life at this point and she was telling me that someone asked her if she was seeing adults now, and she was like, “Nope. Still seeing children just one of them is in their 30s.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s funny.
Emily Ladau:
So, oh my gosh. You know what? My mom is listening into this recording and she texted me and she wishes to contribute from the peanut gallery.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I mean-
Emily Ladau:
Is it okay if we have-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Can anyone stop her really?
Emily Ladau:
No. No one can stop her. No one stops Ellen Ladau.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Not that I want to, I don’t know why I said that so confidently as if she can hear me, but I do mean it.
Emily Ladau:
She is approaching the bench. She’s getting out of her chair. She’s getting into her wheelchair.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m imagining Jaw’s music in my head.
Emily Ladau:
Da nah, da nah, da nah. She has something to say.
Kyle Khachadurian:
In a later segment, we were going to talk about our favorite Trader Joe’s items, if you could believe it, and I’m sure she’s got some of those too.
Emily Ladau:
And she’s going to weigh in. Do you mind an impromptu visit for Ellen Ladau?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Of course not. Are you kidding? That’s the easiest question to answer in the world. No, I do not mind.
Emily Ladau:
She’s trying to move my wheelchair just so you’re getting an audio description of what’s happening, but it’s stuck on her UGG boots. So she’s just ramming the wheelchair into the UGG boots because she really has opinions and she needs to share them.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Hashtag disability.
Emily Ladau:
It’s all happening. It’s out of my hands. I swear. I usually live in an apartment by myself, but-
Kyle Khachadurian:
A likely story.
Ellen Ladau:
You’ve been home for about two weeks.
Emily Ladau:
I know. Well, I was so sick-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Two weeks. Oh, you were sick?
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, I came home because I was really sick, and after an entire week of being by myself when I was sick, I was like, “I no longer want to be by myself.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
There’s a running joke in our household. Every time I get sick, Courtney leaves, or rather, every time she leaves, I get sick. I don’t really know which order it happens in, but she sometimes goes on trips to her family or for work or whatever, and literally every single time I get ill, like sick and I never get sick. So it’s every time she leaves out.
Emily Ladau:
So you’re not with Courtney is what you’re saying?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, yeah and every time she leaves, I’m like, “Don’t go, please? I want you to go have your fun, have your freedom, do your work trip, but I don’t want you to go because I don’t want to get sick.”
Emily Ladau:
Well. I was alone… You want to talk about self-care, I was by myself in my apartment for a week, and my self-care was ordering Panera chicken soup, which I then barely heat. I was so sick. I had a sinus infection. So, I just have to say, people talk about getting sick from COVID, they forget you can get regular sick-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Sick for other things?
Emily Ladau:
Yeah.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. I still haven’t had COVID, but I’ll tell you, I’ve had the flu. I’ve had… Yeah, no, it’s…
Emily Ladau:
I just got my flu shot today. Get your flu shot. Okay. My mom is going to absolutely fall out of her chair if I don’t let her talk.
Kyle Khachadurian:
We said yes. I don’t know. She doesn’t need to rush.
Ellen Ladau:
Yeah. You knew I was going to totally butt in because you were talking about being an adult, and I find that sometimes really funny when you’re whining to me about how hard it is-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, I love that. She came on the show to body you.
Ellen Ladau:
I came on to throw her under the bus.
Kyle Khachadurian:
She came in to throw hands.
Emily Ladau:
You say that you were going contribute to this episode, Ellen Ladau, special guest.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Well, she didn’t say how.
Emily Ladau:
I thought you were going to contribute to the mental health conversation.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, no. That’s what we all thought. She actually came in with a much better plan.
Emily Ladau:
You’re no longer invited to this podcast.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Let the record show. I’m not the one kicking out Ellen Ladau, because I would never do such a thing.
Emily Ladau:
All right, Ellen Ladau, what are your thoughts on self-care?
Ellen Ladau:
It’s a good thing.
Emily Ladau:
You are caught being the absolute worst podcast guest we have ever had.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m dying.
Ellen Ladau:
No, of course it’s super important, but I think there tends to be this standard definition of self-care, eat right, do this, do that and I think self-care is very different for everybody.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, now you want to share your wisdom.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s a very good point.
Emily Ladau:
Actually, that is a good point. Okay, go on. You’re invited back.
Ellen Ladau:
Love you. It’s sometimes very hard to figure out what you need to do for yourself too. So sometimes having a therapist is an excellent way to figure it out, be it a mental health therapist, a physical therapist, a nutritionist, whatever resources are at your disposal. Obviously sometimes insurance and or money is an obstacle, but there are so many resources on the internet. I just listened to the dumbest thing online today. It was an online class about whether snacking was good for you or not.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And what did you learn?
Emily Ladau:
A snack. I’m going to eat a snack.
Ellen Ladau:
I mean, I stopped listening to it, because it really was dumb, but-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Did it tell you that it was bad?
Ellen Ladau:
No, I turned it off before it got to that. I was waiting.
Emily Ladau:
So we don’t even know what the ending [inaudible 00:18:22].
Ellen Ladau:
Yeah, I mean, but it’s confusing because this publication says that this is a healthy snack and this publication says this is not a healthy snack. So even if you do access resources, they’re very confusing. So bottom line, my wisdom, listen to your body. Do what feels right for your body.
Kyle Khachadurian:
There we go.
Emily Ladau:
Ellen Ladau, everybody the absolute smartest person I know, except for when she throws me under the buss.
Ellen Ladau:
And that was fun.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That was hysterical. That’s going to be the clip for this episode.
Emily Ladau:
In all you’re [inaudible 00:19:01].
Kyle Khachadurian:
You’re just like, “I don’t feel like a real adult.” Your mom comes in, “I just think it’s funny how you live by yourself because I don’t know how you do it,” literally.
Ellen Ladau:
Oh, and she brings her laundry home when she comes home, just so you know. W.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Wow.
Emily Ladau:
I send myself here because the washing machine in my apartment, it’s a combo washer dryer. It’s not even a separate unit. It’s like you wash and then you dry. Number one, it doesn’t work.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Okay. That’s a good reason to do your laundry at home.
Emily Ladau:
And it’s not that it’s broken, it doesn’t work. Number two, it’s that it is quite literally impossible for me to access because it’s so low to the ground that I have a really hard time getting things in and out anyway and-
Kyle Khachadurian:
A likely story.
Emily Ladau:
That’s a true story. I’m going to take a picture and that’s going to be the picture for this episode.
Ellen Ladau:
I will vouch for her that it is not a good machine. However, there’s a fully-functional laundry room on the third floor that requires me-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Ah, but you pay for it, right?
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, you have to pay for it. Literally, by the time I pay for a load of laundry, I can pay for a tray ticket home. I’m not kidding.
Kyle Khachadurian:
How much is it? I’m curious.
Emily Ladau:
$4.25 per load or something.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Whoa. That’s about as much as I pay.
Emily Ladau:
So I basically can pay $8.75 for a train ticket, or I can pay $4.25 to do laundry and I get to come see my parents. So
Ellen Ladau:
She does like us.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, I mean, hey. Yeah, you guys are worth way more than 4$.75.
Emily Ladau:
Let’s talk about your very good points about self-care, which are, first of all, that it does look different for everybody, and also that sometimes you actually aren’t really sure what it means for you because those are really valid points and I also think that a good thing to think about with self-care is that your body needs different things at different times. Technically, exercise is self-care, but if you’re in excruciating pain, is exercise actually going to fix that problem? It’s like when people say, “Oh, did you try yoga?” It’s like, actually yoga’s going to make it worse, but safe.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yoga is going to make it worse, but I would also get annoyed at people who are, “Get eight hours of sleep, wake up early and make yourself breakfast and eat it,” and I would always make fun of that like, “Yeah, right. That’s not going to help me.” Guess what I did this morning and how good did I feel?
Emily Ladau:
What did you do?
Kyle Khachadurian:
They were correct. I actually woke up early and I made myself a real, I don’t know. I am never doing it again. I hate that I did it this time. I used to love to live in that ignorance. How right could they be correct? They’re correct. I’m not saying that all exercise, I’m not saying that, but the people who are like, drink water, don’t drink coffee, wake up early, stretch. They’re a hundred percent right. At least for me, and I hate it.
Emily Ladau:
I’m actually am dating a severe morning person.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I am a morning person and I hate that about myself.
Emily Ladau:
Well, I hate that about you too, but you see, my boyfriend is a massive morning person, and so when he’s up, he is up and when I’m up, I am groaning and groaning and whining and complaining about how I’m too disabled to get out of bed for at least an hour.
Ellen Ladau:
[Inaudible 00:22:33].
Kyle Khachadurian:
How done is he with his morning routine? How far into his day is he when you wake up?
Emily Ladau:
It’s practically tomorrow by the time I wake up.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s the best answer.
Emily Ladau:
I mean, truly, he’s up, he’s bouncing around. He’s had 12 cups of coffee. No, he’s had one cup of coffee or two cups of coffee. He’s already watched a TV show. I’ll be sleeping and he’ll shower, make coffee, watch TV.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Wait, Emily, how late do you wake up?
Ellen Ladau:
I’ve told her though, you need to get up earlier.
Emily Ladau:
I mean 10 o’clock I will be up.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, that’s not too bad. So he really does wake up earlier.
Ellen Ladau:
Sometimes it’s more like 11, let’s be real.
Emily Ladau:
If I’m really tired.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’ll defend Emily little bit. Emily has afforded herself a life where she could make a living doing that. I think if you have such a life, you should take advantage of it.
Emily Ladau:
I work late into the night.
Ellen Ladau:
She is a night owl, yes.
Emily Ladau:
But in terms of what my body needs, I know when my body eats sleep and sometimes I know then my body needs chocolate. Okay.
Kyle Khachadurian:
My body needs chocolate.
Emily Ladau:
Right and chocolate is a great segue into the real purpose of this episode.
Kyle Khachadurian:
So anyway…
Emily Ladau:
We’re going to talk about Trader Joe’s.
Ellen Ladau:
Oh, love Trader Joe’s.
Emily Ladau:
So, okay, well, I have a story.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Do you really, because I actually can make an argument that Trader Joe’s is probably good if you’re a disabled person who needs groceries and I will. So let’s hear your story first.
Emily Ladau:
That’s funny because that’s my argument.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, go for it.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. Okay. Living in a city as I do, because I’m a grown adult who has her own apartment who is currently not in that apartment, because I’m hanging out with my mommy, I have to do my own grocery shopping. Wild. I know, right, but Trader Joe’s doesn’t deliver, so that may be the strike against them is that you can’t get delivery. You’re raising your hand. The court recognizes-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you. I literally cannot picture you in a grocery store. Do you use a cart? Do you use a basket? Emily Ladau in my head has never been into a grocery store, and I don’t mean that in a privileged way. I know you eat real human food. I just mean…
Ellen Ladau:
That’s really not true. She loves grocery shopping. She always love groceries.
Emily Ladau:
I do. It’s my secret thing that I really actually like grocery shopping. I like don’t go around telling people that because it’s fricking weird, but while we’re at it, I also really love vacuuming. So now my two weird things.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I actually, I do love vacuuming. I really do love vacuuming.
Emily Ladau:
The thing about picturing me at a grocery store though, is it’s really challenging for me to navigate grocery stores. I can’t reach anything. I’m constantly knocking things over. Grocery stores are not accessible to me. So I love grocery shopping. I am, however, a train wreck in a grocery store.
Ellen Ladau:
Like me and CVS, that’s even worse.
Emily Ladau:
Knocking things over, can’t reach the thing that I want.
Ellen Ladau:
Especially the things on the end of the aisle, oh [inaudible 00:25:59].
Emily Ladau:
Or all the way at the floor or all the way at the top, grocery stores are ableist but anyway, that’s another podcast episode. So even Trader Joe’s, which I now go to, even though it is bus ride from my place, and it’s also an absolute chaotic nightmare, and it’s two levels and you have to take the elevator and what a mess, but it’s so much cheaper. So I love Trader Joe’s.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You want to know a fun fact? I don’t know if this is still true, but the reason Trader Joe’s is cheaper is because they have a national price. So the price in New York City and where I live in Washington DC that’s out now because I said it, but is the same as a cheaper place. So they keep it all the same and they average it.
Emily Ladau:
You know what, that probably ultimately ends up saving them money because they’re not wasting time trying to price space.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And I certainly buy more because of it.
Emily Ladau:
I mean, I will buy everything I can get my hands on at Trader Joe’s, but the story that I was going to share is, so I wen to Trader Joe’s for the first time. This was already a while ago, the one that’s somewhat within distance of my apartment and I was trying to reach something and I asked for assistance, and the store employee that I asked for assistance said, “Would you like me to go around the grocery store with you?”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, that’s very nice.
Emily Ladau:
“And help you get whatever you need?” And this was kind of like a moment of conflict for me because I hate asking for help and I hate accepting help. I don’t like receiving help and this is not an etiquette thing. This is like a me thing. I get very uncomfortable in situations where help is offered to me and I will sometimes say that I have a handle on it, even if I really don’t because I’d rather not accept the help and so this store employee, she was so lovely. She really did just go around with me. She wasn’t an imposition, she wasn’t patronizing. She just handed me multiple options and she let me choose for myself.
So if I wanted the strawberries, she gave me the strawberries, but she gave me a couple of boxes of them so that I could turn them around, look at them, figure it out. She picked up the nectarines and showed them to me and she was also super helpful just in helping me navigate the store because I hadn’t been there before and I didn’t really know where everything was. So she was useful on top of actually helping me for disability reasons.
Ellen Ladau:
I wonder if that’s just something that’s been encountered or if Trader Joe’s train them, because your father and I recently had the opportunity to discover a medical provider’s office that was right next to a Trader, and we got excited and you had asked for a specific item and we told you we were going to go to Trader Joe’s and I didn’t know where to find it and instead of just when I asked somebody, instead of just telling me or pointing, they went and got it for me and that actually happened two or three times rather than me sitting there having to find it, each employee went to get it and I don’t know. So that may be something that’s in their training.
Emily Ladau:
But I also feel like that was an above and beyond kind of moment for me.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Is it? Especially because it’s not something you’ve experienced regularly.
Emily Ladau:
Right, exactly and because it was done without being patronizing in the slightest.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Sure. What is your Trader Joe’s advice? You go in there, you go you need something-
Emily Ladau:
Okay. I will have to tell you every single thing that I like to buy at Trader Joe’s ready? Okay. All right. Actually, well here’s the problem is that some of the stuff I think is just limited edition depending on the season.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, they do that unfortunately, but I know Pumpkin Spice season is just started and I know you are one of those people.
Emily Ladau:
I am one of those people. Thank you so much. Yes. I make what I call my annual pumpkin spice pilgrimage to Trader Joe’s.
Kyle Khachadurian:
She’s very serious about this. She always sends me pictures of everything she always has and it’s the weirdest thing because I have nothing against pumpkin flavor. It’s not my favorite, but there are things that are pumpkin flavored incented that I promise you you’ve never thought of. Continue, please?
Emily Ladau:
Well, guess what? I found the thing. Hefty garbage bags, pumpkin spice scent.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Shut the (beep) up. Oh my God.
Emily Ladau:
I am not kidding. They are real.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No way.
Emily Ladau:
I don’t have them, but I will be purchasing them. Thank you for asking.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Please, can you get me some? I’ll pay you for them. I just want them.
Ellen Ladau:
Today is September 7th and I already have pumpkin spice muffins in my refrigerator at Emily’s request. It’s a disease, folks.
Emily Ladau:
Now, now don’t pathologize my love of pumpkin spice.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I recently discovered-
Emily Ladau:
You look like [inaudible 00:31:41] have the matter.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, I don’t like pumpkin spice, but that’s incredible and I want that just to say that I have it. My vice is milk chocolate, peanut butter filled crispy peanuts. They’re not peanuts. They’re in the shape of peanuts. They’re like peanut butter cups except that they have a crispy shell on the outside between the peanut butter layer and the chocolate layer and there’s a cute little squirrel on the outside.
Ellen Ladau:
We have to find those.
Emily Ladau:
You’re describing a cross between peanut M&M’s and Reese’s Pieces.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, that’s exactly what they are. They’re the greatest candy of all time. I’m mad that only Trader Joe’s makes them. It should be everywhere. They’re amazing.
Emily Ladau:
I wish I didn’t know that existed, but I will now tell you everything I love about Trader Joe’s. Okay.
Ellen Ladau:
Do you think somebody from Trader Joe’s is actually going to hear this episode?
Emily Ladau:
I actually think-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Trader Joe’s if you want to sponsor us. Yeah, you could do that.
Emily Ladau:
Do you all think statistically speaking, that we have had a Trader Joe’s employee listen to this podcast?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Hundred percent. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. I would be shocked if they didn’t.
Emily Ladau:
I’m going to do the non pumpkin stuff first. Recent discovery, dill pickle falafel.
Ellen Ladau:
That’s what we picked up.
Emily Ladau:
Yes.
Ellen Ladau:
The employee showed it to me and I was like, I never heard of such [inaudible 00:32:58].
Emily Ladau:
I just wanted falafel but no, I got dill pickle falafel.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You’re a pickle girl, right?
Emily Ladau:
Oh my God, yes.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Okay. I mean, me too. I’m a pickle guy.
Emily Ladau:
You’re a pickle girl?
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m a pickle girl. Yeah, I’m a pretty pickle girl.
Emily Ladau:
No, I love pickles so much and so dill pickle mini falafel also is excellent because there’s like 40 pieces in one bag and that’s a very significant amount and we got several meals out of that. Other thing that I love, which I don’t know how long it’s going to be around, is they have vegan bolognese ravioli and it’s made with lentils and mushrooms.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And you’re not a vegan, so I feel like I can trust your opinion on this. How is it?
Emily Ladau:
It’s delicious and to be honest, I am leaning more and more away from meat lately. So it’s-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, really? Good for you. Yeah. Good for you.
Emily Ladau:
I love their vegan ravioli and then they also, when pumpkin spice season rolls around, I love their pumpkin spice cream cheese. Oh my God.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You know what, I was going to-
Emily Ladau:
I know it sounds bad, but it’s not.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It does, but I can… I don’t believe in flavored cream cheese. I’m morally against it, but if I had to pick one, I feel like pumpkin spice is a good one.
Emily Ladau:
Can I ask you a follow up question? What about scallion cream cheese or vegetable cream cheese? Still no?
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, I’m okay with that. It’s the fact that they’re sweet. That’s what I don’t like, but pumpkin spice isn’t that sweet.
Ellen Ladau:
[Inaudible 00:34:44] to do, self-care.
Emily Ladau:
My mother-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Trader Joe’s is self-care.
Emily Ladau:
Trader Joe’s is self-care.
Ellen Ladau:
Oh, I see. Okay. Just trying to keep the show on track.
Emily Ladau:
I am. I’m very on track. Thank you so much. I will now tell you what my favorite body care item is from Trader Joe’s.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Make your argument for pumpkin spice cream cheese. This is better content.
Emily Ladau:
Okay, but this is another argument for pumpkin stuff though. They make pumpkin body butter. It’s like pumpkin lotion basically and you smell like a delicious autumnal goddess, okay.
Kyle Khachadurian:
But not like a pumpkin, like pumpkin pie right?
Emily Ladau:
I would actually say it leans a little pumpkiny, but it has a sort of sweet smell. You don’t smell like a cinnamon stick.
Kyle Khachadurian:
There’s nothing wrong with that.
Ellen Ladau:
I love cinnamon.
Emily Ladau:
Well, there you go. I guess we got to go to Trader Joe’s so I can buy you some pumpkin lotion, okay.
Kyle Khachadurian:
So I learned recently that they sell cinnamon brooms as decor that you put in your house.
Emily Ladau:
We always buy the cinnamon brooms.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’ve never seen one in my life. I’m going to go and get one because that sounds [inaudible 00:36:02].
Emily Ladau:
Let me tell you something, okay. You want to talk about self-care? When people attack me with Christmas every year and I’m like-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, here we go. This is what I’m here for.
Emily Ladau:
Here we go. All right, buckle up. I can’t celebrate Christmas on account of I am Jewish and you are all very exclusionary. So you know when I celebrate what-
Ellen Ladau:
That’s 95% of your audience.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You remember the time that you told me that and I didn’t know that you’ve never done it. Although in hindsight, of course you haven’t. Why would you? And so we went around New York and we did the stereotypical Christmas thing, just so I could share that with you.
Emily Ladau:
We also have a photo of us making really-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Angrily staring at the tree.
Emily Ladau:
At the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree. Everyone else is hugging, because they love each other and we’re just like…
Kyle Khachadurian:
Scowling at each other, because we love each other, yeah.
Emily Ladau:
And we walked through Rockefeller Center. The lights were beautiful. Okay, look, I actually am not mad at Christmas, but what I’m saying is that autumnal things are completely secular and I can get fully into it with no religious implication whatsoever. So for me, yes, self-care is all of the pumpkin things because it has no greater implication than that. I happen to these particular months out of the year. Oh, my mother is so determined to make this disability related.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Go ahead. What’d she say?
Emily Ladau:
She wants [inaudible 00:37:33] and now we have Mark Ladau on the podcast. Did I not say to you that I wanted to do it in my apartment because it was quieter?
Kyle Khachadurian:
She actually did say that.
Emily Ladau:
There’s a place in New Jersey that apparently has wheelchair accessible hay rides.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Okay.
Ellen Ladau:
I was like, that didn’t [inaudible 00:37:59].
Emily Ladau:
No, he was actually looking very exciting.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It did. It did. I love hay rides. I’m a 32 year old man. I (beep) with hay rides. I love hay rides and-
Emily Ladau:
Wait, have we got to your favorite Trader Joe’s items yet?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Well I mentioned my favorite treat.
Ellen Ladau:
Well, yeah the chocolate thing.
Kyle Khachadurian:
The bupkis are pretty good for not Jewish deli bupkis. I know that’s heresy, but we don’t have those where I live.
Emily Ladau:
Okay. You want to talk about good bupkis? There’s a place in New York City called Bread’s Bakery that makes the best bupkis I have ever eaten in my life.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh no. Did they have… I miss it. I miss all the Jewish food.
Emily Ladau:
I will bring you the food. You’re in Washington DC though. Go to Call Your mother. Eat a bagel. It’s good.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, yeah. Call Your Mother is okay. You’re right. Call Your Mother’s okay.
Emily Ladau:
And I say that knowing it’s complete heresy. Now listen, we have derailed this episode for 40-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Bagels are self-care.
Emily Ladau:
Bagels, let me talk to you-
Ellen Ladau:
Well, my God, don’t start with bagels. Talk about Too Good To Go and now we save bagels.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Who doesn’t save bagels?
Emily Ladau:
This is also self-care. I love a bagel on the weekends and there’s an app called Too Good to Go where-
Kyle Khachadurian:
The one where the restaurants are going to get rid of it. So instead they sell it to you for cheap.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. So you can get a dozen bagels for like five bucks.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I should see if there’s any in DC what they have.
Emily Ladau:
You should definitely check in DC. I mean, look, I know we’ve been all over the place, but the reality is that everything does come back to disability in some way because it is a pain in the butt for me to continually go out and bring bagels back, first of all. Second of all, having a bagel habit is expensive, so it’s a great way to save money. I do think Too Good To Go is definitely something I would consider a disability life hack because it’s a cheap way for good food.
Kyle Khachadurian:
There are little things, we say this a lot, like little things that make everyone else’s life more convenient, make ours possible in certain ways. There are definitely a lot of services and apps and stuff that vastly improve my quality of life, specifically because I have a disability.
Emily Ladau:
Real actual disability related thing.
Ellen Ladau:
Just knowing that delivery is such an option just puts my mind at ease because I don’t drive knowing that we’re going to get home from somewhere on the weekend and we can’t go shopping. Just knowing that I could schedule a delivery from Stop & shop on a Monday-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Exactly.
Ellen Ladau:
[Inaudible 00:40:42] peace of mind.
Emily Ladau:
For sure and because we weren’t even going on for a hundred years, the last thing I’ll say, this was an interesting observation that I never thought of, but over the weekend we were going to be spending some time outside and so we have these things, whether they work or not is debatable, but they’re called buggy bands and they’re literally just stretchy cords that you wear around your wrist and they have citronella on them and they’re meant to help ward off bugs, but the point is that my boyfriend was here, we were doing some family stuff, so my boyfriend was at my parents’ house and my mom was just like, “Hey, you guys want buggy bands?” And he was like, “What on earth are you talking about?” And I was like, “Oh, they are these bracelets that you wear to help keep away bugs when you’re outside.” And he said, “You know, you guys have something for everything.”
And this makes sense to me because you are so used to using all kinds of equipment to adapt your life, of course you have buggy bands. You think about the fact that there’s got to be a product out there that’s going to do something to make your life easier or better, but-
Ellen Ladau:
Or if we can’t find the product, we figure out with what we already have our famous kitchen tongs.
Emily Ladau:
Right, right. We life hack it.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Wait, what do you mean with your kitchen tongs? You bring-
Emily Ladau:
We use them as grabbers.
Ellen Ladau:
They’re better than [inaudible 00:42:16].
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh yeah, of course and they’re probably better at it, right? If I were to guess.
Ellen Ladau:
Much better at it.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. We love our kitchen tongs, but for him, he was just kind of having that moment of observation where as disabled people, we are constantly finding the thing that improves your life and using that thing and he doesn’t have quite that mindset yet, but for us, we’re like, if there’s a product that’s going to make our lives easier, and it’s not absurdly expensive, let’s get the product.
Ellen Ladau:
Right or figure out how to imitate it as close as possible with what we have.
Emily Ladau:
So I think that also probably hearkens back to self-care, but more in the taking care of yourself kind of way. You’re constantly finding the thing that will help us take care of ourselves. So yeah, I don’t know. I’m sorry.
Ellen Ladau:
I really like that some of the things that we’ve found to take care of ourselves, and when I’ve mentioned it or shared it, some people have been like, “Wow, that’s a really cool idea.” Somebody actually in Texas asked me to set the video. So she worked in a hospital and it was how to close the door and what we used to pull the door behind us to stick-
Kyle Khachadurian:
What do you use?
Emily Ladau:
It’s a stick with a giant tire up on the end of it, we loop the tire wrap around the door handle and we pull it.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Okay. Not that I’m comparing you to animals, but how a service dog might do it.
Emily Ladau:
I am an animal. Thank you so much.
Ellen Ladau:
Oh, I didn’t even think of that. Yeah. How a service dog [inaudible 00:44:00].
Emily Ladau:
A service dog would probably grab a rope and pull. Yeah.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You have something to grab onto. Yeah. No, you’re not animals. Well, maybe you-
Emily Ladau:
I am my own service dog, because I don’t have one.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s just I love your seventh book.
Emily Ladau:
My mother is my service dog because I don’t have one. Okay-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Get one. You live on your own now. Get one.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, I know.
Kyle Khachadurian:
[Inaudible 00:44:27] with you everywhere.
Emily Ladau:
Is anybody even still listening to this episode?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Because if you are and you’d like to support the show, you can do so at patreon.com/theaccessiblestall. Just $1 a month, ensures all current and future The Accessible Stall remain what?
Emily Ladau:
Accessible.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And not that we ever use the proceeds from Patreon for our own personal benefit, because we really don’t. However, it could probably buy a bag of milk chocolate peanut crisp from Trader Joe’s.
Emily Ladau:
It could definitely buy dill pickled falafel, although in all serious-
Kyle Khachadurian:
But instead, yeah, no, we really don’t do that.
Emily Ladau:
We buy transcripts-
Kyle Khachadurian:
I was just going to say that exact thing. Going to say that exact same thing.
Emily Ladau:
I mean also if you’re listening at this point, you’re a true fan or you are just real bored.
Ellen Ladau:
Well, I want to thank you guys, so kindly for inviting me on tonight.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. That’s how that happened.
Kyle Khachadurian:
We definitely extended the invitation in advance. Yeah. No, it’s…
Ellen Ladau:
Did I not contribute some valuable points?
Emily Ladau:
Yes.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Of course you did. You always do.
Emily Ladau:
You are a gem among gems.
Ellen Ladau:
All right, thank you.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I guarantee there’s at least one listener who’s like, “Oh yeah, Ellen’s back.” There’s got to be one. There’s got to be one who’s a huge fan because who isn’t a fan of Ellen Ladau?
Emily Ladau:
In all sincerity though, I mean, I have found over the years that the reason that I listen to podcasts is because I want to feel like I’m hearing a conversation with a friend.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, exactly.
Emily Ladau:
So the more conversational the podcast, the more I enjoy it.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And if that’s you, you’re going to love this episode because fool boy.
Ellen Ladau:
Trader Joe’s please, I hope you’re listening.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Actually, can I just say one actual disability related thing about Trader Joe’s?
Emily Ladau:
Of course you can.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Because they all wear Hawaiian shirts, they’re easy for my partner to see because they all look very distinct.
Emily Ladau:
Wow, okay, but what if that one guy comes into the store who just-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh yeah, like a customer?
Emily Ladau:
Basically, Jimmy Buffett.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It’s funny because last time I was there, somebody was asking me what my favorite flavor of the bread is thinking that I work there and I wasn’t rude, but in my head I’m like, “Look at me. See how I’m not wearing anything like what they’re wearing.” They all wear that for this exact reason but no, me being who I am, I just gave her an answer. I answered your question because…
Emily Ladau:
The people in my store in New York City, I don’t know if they wear Hawaiian shirts.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, really?
Emily Ladau:
I’m not sure if they were wearing Hawaiian shirt. Maybe that’s a cute kitschy. No, I’ve seen it in other Trader Joe’s, but just, I don’t know, maybe in New York City they’re too cool for that. I’m not sure.
Ellen Ladau:
Can I shout out to CVS this episode? Well, at least in my local store, they’re extremely helpful to me when I go, even though their aisles are not wide enough.
Emily Ladau:
Yes. I’ll send it to their manager.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’d like to speak to the president of CVS.
Emily Ladau:
Do we have any takeaways at this point, because I’m not even sure what’s happening.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. My takeaway is that self-care looks different for everybody and if you are doing something that isn’t hurting you or someone else and it makes you feel better, then you should do it and don’t feel guilty about it.
Emily Ladau:
And my takeaway is that we need to recognize the priority of self-care more often. I mean, I know that this episode was just a silly and fun one, much like the last one, which we called Self-Care and silliness, but the reality is that it shouldn’t have been six years until we talked about taking care of ourselves again.
Kyle Khachadurian:
And it’s certainly not going to be six years before we do it again.
Emily Ladau:
Okay. You know The Try Guys?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes.
Emily Ladau:
They do this thing now where they do podcast episodes at different locations, and so it’ll be like podcast in Ikea, podcast in a grocery store.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I would love to podcast with you in an Ikea or anywhere really, but I feel like IKEA is perfect.
Ellen Ladau:
You should start at Trader Joe’s.
Emily Ladau:
Okay.
Ellen Ladau:
You didn’t ask me what my takeaway is.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, excuse me, Ellen, what’s your takeaway?
Ellen Ladau:
You should invite me to your podcast more often.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, should we?
Ellen Ladau:
Because I barged in, I confess, I barged in. I was bored.
Emily Ladau:
On that note, this has been another episode of The Accessible Stall. I’m Emily.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m Kyle and might we say you look great today in your Hawaiian shirt if you’re wearing one and also if you’re not wearing one and also whatever you are wearing.
Emily Ladau:
You look so beautiful. Thanks so much for listening.
Kyle Khachadurian:
See you next time.
Emily Ladau:
Bye.