Emily Ladau:
Hi. Hi, I’m Emily Ladau.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m Kyle Khachadurian.
Emily Ladau:
You’re listening to another episode of The Accessible Stall.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Emily, where has 2022 come and gone?
Emily Ladau:
Oh my God, you threw me for such a loop just now. I was waiting for you to be like, “What are we going to talk about today?” Then you were like-
Kyle Khachadurian:
What are we going to talk about today, Emily?
Emily Ladau:
“Where has time gone?” Now I’m feeling like I’ve just gone into an existential tailspin, and I don’t know if I have the emotional capacity to do this podcast right now.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Great. Episode over. Support the show on Patreon. Patreon.com, search for The Accessible Stall.
Emily Ladau:
Thanks so much for listening. Bye.
Kyle Khachadurian:
See you next time.
Emily Ladau:
Okay.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Just kidding.
Emily Ladau:
In all seriousness though, I don’t know where this year went. This was a hard year for me. I am really just trying to recover. It’s a journey. We’re all on a journey.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah.
Emily Ladau:
I think I’m getting into the hippie vibes right now. Life is just a path that you take until you’re reaching [inaudible 00:01:29].
Kyle Khachadurian:
You’re going to change your vibe to Cottage Core, going to live in the woods.
Emily Ladau:
You know what? I think Cottage Core is adorable.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It is. I do. I do think it’s adorable.
Emily Ladau:
I don’t think I would ever do it. That’s not my vibe, but I think it’s cute, if done well. Anyway.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes. We love Cottage Core.
Emily Ladau:
What does any of this have to do with disability? Oh, well, okay.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Well, the woods aren’t very accessible, so …
Emily Ladau:
That’s true. I could not be Henry David Thoreau, except for didn’t that guy get help from his mom who just lived down the road?
Kyle Khachadurian:
You’re asking the wrong person, but probably that’s what … Behind all those white guys, there’s a woman or some marginalized person that’s the real person behind them.
Emily Ladau:
Behind every mediocre man is a woman holding him up.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I didn’t say mediocre, but I also didn’t not say it.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, we’re so off track here, but you know what? Disabled people can talk about things that have nothing to do with disability. Okay?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Sometimes.
Emily Ladau:
Anyway, you want to talk about disability?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, let’s do that.
Emily Ladau:
It’s really funny because before we started recording, Kyle was like, “What are we talking about today?” I was like, “Oh, disabled people,” as if there’s something different that we talk about.
Kyle Khachadurian:
The International Day of People with Disabilities, or for, or with, I seriously don’t even know the whole thing, was a couple days ago as we record this.
Emily Ladau:
It’s the International Day of Persons with Disabilities. That’s the current title of it. I don’t know why we can’t just say Day of Disabled People. That’s my first question.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Isn’t it implied that it’s international? It’s not like we have a continent to ourselves.
Emily Ladau:
Well, but it’s a United Nations thing. They started it.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, okay. I didn’t … Yeah, no, that’s true. Then they have to say that, even though they’re the United Nations.
Emily Ladau:
Are you not aware of this awareness day and the history behind it?
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, and I don’t want to be.
Emily Ladau:
Okay. Well anyway, let me enlighten you. It was started in 1992 because the United Nations was like, “Wow, there’s a lot of disabled people in the world. We should say something about that. Let’s make a day out of it.” Now every year since one year after you and I were born, on December 3rd, they honor disabled people, and then we all go back to not caring.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It sounds like what the United Nations does.
Emily Ladau:
That makes me sound like such a cynical person, but look, I just don’t think that we need awareness days to be aware of my existence. Also, please don’t be aware of my existence. Please maybe just accept my existence.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Awareness is creepy in that way, right? I get why they say it, if it’s a relatively unknown medical condition or a rare disability. Yeah, sometimes awareness, you do need to be made aware, but in the context of you and me, it’s like, I don’t know. Just treat me normally please.
Emily Ladau:
What is normally? Anyway, I wanted to reflect on the joy of being around disabled people. I mean-
Kyle Khachadurian:
I was recently around a bunch of them.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, so look, I complained about awareness days. Sure, but the reality is that I love going to events that have anything to do with disability. They make me feel happy. I love being around disabled people.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You do. It’s like, they’re all like Christmas to you. Every last one of them. You would go to 20 a year, because I’ve seen it. She’s not kidding.
Emily Ladau:
Well, you used to be my date to all of them, and then you got it in your head to move to Seattle.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m coming back.
Emily Ladau:
Is this public knowledge? Have we addressed this?
Kyle Khachadurian:
It is now. Well, I’m moving in two days, so by the time you hear this, I will not be in Seattle.
Emily Ladau:
He’s moving back to the best coast.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, that’s what it is.
Emily Ladau:
I’m so excited.
Kyle Khachadurian:
East coast, beast coast.
Emily Ladau:
I say that all the time. I love the east coast.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Look, just cause the west coast has a better saying, okay, it’s not fair.
Emily Ladau:
Look, a good rhyme does not make you superior.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I will say they do have the better ocean. The Pacific Ocean is prettier than the Atlantic Ocean. It is.
Emily Ladau:
I’ve got to tell you, I really don’t care about bodies of water.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, that’s fair enough, but I’m just giving credit where it’s due.
Emily Ladau:
I am such a north-easterner, it’s ridiculous. I could not imagine living anywhere else. You know what? Let’s make this a fun episode where I talk about how much I don’t like Seattle. What is the point of that entire city? There are so many hills. I feel like I couldn’t go anywhere because I would literally die.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I mean, I’m not … It’s pretty. I like it, but you raise good points.
Emily Ladau:
Is it?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, it’s pretty. It’s pretty. It’s prettier than New York City.
Emily Ladau:
Okay. No, New York City is gorgeous. I’m just kidding. It’s really not. Can I tell you something?
Kyle Khachadurian:
You can tell me anything.
Emily Ladau:
I was on a dating app and this guy was like, “Oh, what’s your favorite place in New York City?” I was like, “The Highline,” because I love the Highline, even though that’s the site of where you and I had the world’s biggest fight, but that’s a story for another day.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That was so funny. Oh my God. Okay, but I love telling that story so I don’t regret anything, even though it makes me look like a shit, because I was, but it’s just so funny.
Emily Ladau:
No, no, no, no, no. Okay, now I’m going to derail this conversation. Wait, no. Let me finish the story that I was telling you. I was like, “Yeah, the Highline, what’s your favorite place in New York City?” He was like, “Times Square, classic New York City,” and I was like, that just means you’ve never been to New York City.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Swipe left. I don’t know what dating app you were on, but I assume that it’s ubiquitous to say swipe left when you mean no on such things, even if you don’t actually do that.
Emily Ladau:
On Match. Yeah, no, I was like, “Are you kidding me?” That just means you’ve never been to New York City. There is no more nightmarish place than Times Square.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. It’s actually terrible. If you’ve ever been, imagine a place where it never gets dark, and every person who is standing there doesn’t know where they’re going because they’re too busy looking up at all the lights, times two million, in a two block radius.
Emily Ladau:
It is literally a disabled person’s nightmare. I hate being in Times Square because I’m constantly having to bob and weave and dodge human beings. Anyway, they’re … Okay. Anyway. Yes, obviously I unmatched with that person, but this is not talking about dating in The Accessible Stall. This is talking about disability in The Accessible Stall.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Can I just say, I thought you were going to say that they were going to … I didn’t know where the conversation was going to go and I thought you were going to tell me that they judged you, because it is like a hippie-dippy tourist attraction, and I was getting ready for you to go on a tirade about how it’s one of the most accessible parks in New York, actually, because not only does it have an elevator to get up to it, but it also has extremely flat surfaces, and I’m honestly disappointed that that’s not where this went.
Emily Ladau:
Well, you know what? Now that you mention it, let’s have that conversation.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Well, it’s one of the most accessible parks in New York City, actually, because not only does it [inaudible 00:10:23]-
Emily Ladau:
I don’t care. Okay. One caveat, that’s assuming that the elevator is working. There are multiple elevators though.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Well, there’s more than though. Yeah.
Emily Ladau:
Yes, but here’s the thing about the Highline. Okay? I don’t care if it’s cliche and touristy because it is absolutely one of the most accessible places to get around in New York City.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, it is, it’s my favorite park.
Emily Ladau:
Plus, the views are gorgeous. I love the views, and it’s in a really good area of the city where there’s plenty of good food if you go back to street level, so I just think it’s really nice. I mean, I’ve also gone on a couple of questionable dates there, but that is not the point. If people want to come at me for being cliche, that’s fine, but honestly, if you say Times Square.
Kyle Khachadurian:
They’d have to come through both of us. Yeah. If you come at Emily about that, and then your favorite place in New York is Times Square, we’re just not going to listen to you. We’re just not.
Emily Ladau:
That’s my take that I’m willing to get canceled over.
Kyle Khachadurian:
We are accepting of every opinion in The Accessible Stall, to a degree, except for the one that Times Square is the best place in New York City. Any view except for that one.
Emily Ladau:
Well, although, no. No, we’re not accepting of the fact that Trump was a good president.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I didn’t say … I’ve said within reason, Emily.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, I didn’t hear that. I just heard you say we’re accepting of every opinion. I was like, “Excuse you?”
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, no, no, no, no. Not every. Not every. Far from every.
Emily Ladau:
Wow. Okay. We’ve been at this for 12 minutes and have made no useful points, so we want to talk about being around disabled people, for real. I think that a really nice way to wrap up this year of podcasting would just be to talk about community. I want to acknowledge that it’s really challenging to talk about that in some ways, because not everyone feels safe to be in person, in community, because not every community is making it safe for people to be in person, and so I just want to put that out there, that there’s more than one way to be part of a community and that it doesn’t necessarily be mean being with a person, in person. It can also be virtual, but there’s just something really beautiful about being around other disabled people and I think we should talk about it.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I just want to say that … I really want to talk about Twitter when you say that, but we’re not going to do that. I just want you to look at my face and I just want you to know that I really want to talk about how important Twitter is to people with disabilities, especially those for whom going out in the real world is a bit of a chore, or maybe even dangerous.
Emily Ladau:
Hey Kyle, it sounds like you just started talking about Twitter. Did you want to talk about Twitter?
Kyle Khachadurian:
I just don’t like where it’s going, and I’ll leave it at that.
Emily Ladau:
Okay. Well, I’m going to tell you my feelings about Twitter. I think it’s a real bummer. I think that it has been an incredible source of community for me, and I realize we’re a day late, several days late, several dollars short on this conversation because it’s already been going on for a while, but yeah, I don’t want to lose my sense of online community.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. I don’t even use Twitter, but I always find it to be an interesting place to find where the culture is on any given issue. No, really. Yeah. I used to just ask you about the disability opinion du jour, but now I don’t have to. Now I can get hundreds of people’s opinions screamed at me all at once. I think that’s beautiful, kind of.
Emily Ladau:
My opinion is clearly the most important one.
Kyle Khachadurian:
To me it is. I mean, yeah.
Emily Ladau:
I know I’m all over the place tonight, but speaking of disabled people on the internet, someone told me an influencer today, but the good kind.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, no. Oh, that’s even worse. I mean, it’s good. I get what … It’s good that they said that, but the fact that they needed to clarify is, ugh, no. You can take the word back.
Emily Ladau:
I think I want to cry.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, no, I feel that.
Emily Ladau:
I’m not an influencer.
Kyle Khachadurian:
They could have called you anything, and they called you that.
Emily Ladau:
Okay, but do you know what I said? I was like, “I hate influencers,” and they were like …
Kyle Khachadurian:
You said, damn it. You missed an opportunity.
Kyle Khachadurian:
you missed
Emily Ladau:
No, go ahead, tell me. Okay, go ahead.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You could have been like, “Oh, well use code EMILY50 for 50% off your first month of Dollar Shave Club,” or whatever.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, man. Oh my God, I’m so disappointed now. “Text E-M-I-L-Y to something for 25% off your first month of Audible. Get a Helix mattress. Sign up for Better Health.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Do you know what’s a good book to listen to on Audible? Demystifying Disability as read by the authors. Did your book come out this year? Was it 2022? I forgot.
Emily Ladau:
Last year. No, it was last year.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh my God.
Emily Ladau:
Can you believe it?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Well, no. Can you?
Emily Ladau:
No.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Has it felt like the past to you yet?
Emily Ladau:
No. It just feels like, how did that happen? I guess that was a thing that I did. Anyway, so this guy was like, yeah. I said, “I hate influencers,” and he was like, “You’re an influencer, but you’re the good kind.” I was like, “No, I am an activist who has opinions on the internet and sometimes they influence people.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
To be fair, to be fair, I do appreciate the difference between those two things. Even though technically that does make you one, that is not what people think when they say that word or think of that word. I’m in your corner, that you are correct, for what it’s worth.
Emily Ladau:
Thank you, but I don’t think that my defense really helped my cause.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Not if you said that like you had that sentence prepared, like you’ve said it before it. Sure, but …
Emily Ladau:
Funny enough, I’ve never said that to anybody before, but I think it’s just that people who really know me know that my vibe is so opposite of internet influencer that I don’t consider myself like that.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It really is. It’s incredible. It’s really, for people that don’t know you, they might not believe it, but, and I mean this as a high compliment. It’s great. You’re like a whole normal person because you are amazing.
Emily Ladau:
Oh my God, you think I’m normal?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Okay. That’s not what I mean. [inaudible 00:17:46].
Emily Ladau:
No, actually, I love it. I kind of love it. That’s all I ever wanted to be, Kyle.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, you’re like a human that needs food and water and shelter.
Emily Ladau:
I saw a tweet that was like, “My heart says I want people to love me, but my brain says I’m weird, and my body says feed me more bread.” I was like, “Wow, that’s me.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s about right. Yeah. I feel seen.
Emily Ladau:
18 minutes in. Can we talk about being around disabled people? I haven’t made a useful point.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Well, okay. Well, I live with one, so … Oh, you do too. Oh my God. Oh, so we should have a lot to say.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. Well, it’s actually funny that you brought that up because I never thought about it like that. Yeah, you always have a disabled person around.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I carry one in my back pocket.
Emily Ladau:
You probably could. She’s very tiny.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, she’s small enough to fit in there.
Emily Ladau:
I mean that with love, if she’s listening.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, no, no. She would be happy to hear you say that.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, we are both always around another disabled person, which quite frankly I think is great. I am going to owe my mother a couple of nickels, but it’s really nice to just have somebody around who gets it all the time.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It’s weird. I’ve noticed, and I’m pretty sure that we’ve said this before, but in case we haven’t, it’s weird how you and I and, well, Courtney … Not your mom, she shares your disability, but the three of us have very different disabilities, and yet, if you’re disabled at all, you get it on a level, even if the ways that you’re disabled are completely different from the person you’re talking to.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, but okay, can I clarify that? Because I think you have to be disabled and also have a certain mindset in order to get it, because I’ve dated multiple people who have had different types of disabilities, and one of them, it was awesome, and the other one was like, “Wow, I hate everything about having a disability and I’m going to blame the entire universe on it.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Okay, that is a valid feeling, but it’s one that, it should be coped with and helped through.
Emily Ladau:
Hey, what a diplomatic way to say that.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I mean, look, I’ve been … That was a phase. I never hit rock bottom the way a lot of disabled people that I’ve read personal essays about have. That’s a privilege, but I can’t say that I’ve always liked this. I still don’t, but I …
Emily Ladau:
Sure, that’s-
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m definitely a wet blanket in other ways, I’ll say that.
Emily Ladau:
I don’t need you to like your disability. I don’t really know that I like my disability. I like that I am disabled and that I am part of a community, and that it has brought me to really cool people, but I’m never like, “Hell yeah, being in a wheelchair is so baller all the time. This is great.” No.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I’m going to get you a bumper sticker that says that.
Emily Ladau:
It’s such a hard balance because you don’t want to emit pity. I don’t want people to feel bad for me because I don’t like my disability, because that’s not the point I’m trying to convey.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Do you feel the opposite? If something unfortunate happens to you in public and then people don’t feel bad for you, do you wish they did? Because I would.
Emily Ladau:
What?
Kyle Khachadurian:
I don’t know. I don’t know.
Emily Ladau:
Do you mean if you tripped and fell over something?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, yeah, or if you dropped your food and no one stopped to be like, “Oh no,” or something.
Emily Ladau:
Oh my God. Yeah, see, but here’s the thing. If I drop something, I can’t really pick it up if I’m in my power chair.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, so yeah, for you, it’s a situation. It’s not even just feel bad, this type of thing.
Emily Ladau:
I just kind of … I just sit there looking around.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Wait, just bat your eyes.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, until someone comes and picks up my crap for me.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s funny.
Emily Ladau:
Really, I need a magnet attached to everything, but yeah, back to being around disabled people, yeah, it just makes me feel good in a way that it didn’t used to. I feel like at this point I must have said this at some point on the podcast, but it used to be if you were like, “Yeah, I forgot you were in a wheelchair,” I’d be like, “Cool, thanks,” but now I’m like, “Are you kidding me? You forgot that I was disabled? Ew.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
“Can you see it?”
Emily Ladau:
Not if the person is blind.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, okay, but even they wouldn’t forget you’re in a wheelchair.
Emily Ladau:
Don’t be ableist.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, I’m not, but I’m saying it’s … Hey, I got the card, okay? I’m just saying. Sorry I’m low energy today, by the way. I’m kind of tired because I am moving in two days.
Emily Ladau:
I am low energy because I woke up really early, sat in an all-day meeting, and tomorrow I’m waking up at 5:00 AM so that I can fly to Oregon.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Don’t you wish you were hanging out with other disabled people? Oh wait, are you? Is that what’s in Oregon? Is there other disabled people in Oregon?
Emily Ladau:
I’m going to be talking about disability. I would assume …
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, it’s not the same.
Emily Ladau:
Okay, but statistically speaking, if one in four adults has a disability, then yeah, I’m probably going to be hanging out with some disabled people.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, that’s true. Show yourselves when Emily shows up to undisclosed place in Oregon.
Emily Ladau:
It’s called Beaver [inaudible 00:24:00].
Kyle Khachadurian:
I still don’t know how to pronounce that … That’s hilarious. Oregon, come on. Change the name.
Emily Ladau:
You are such a child.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Look, if a man tells you that there aren’t certain words and phrases that refer to certain parts of your body that still doesn’t make him laugh as an adult, he is lying to you. Okay? I at least can admit that about myself.
Emily Ladau:
My mother just texted me, because she can hear my half of the recording, to say that this episode is boring and pointless.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Well, it’s going to go on anyway, Emily’s mom. No, okay, for real.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, it is going to go on anyway.
Kyle Khachadurian:
As is on brand for us, we’re going to make a point 25 minutes into the episode and say that-
Emily Ladau:
Do you have a point to make? Because I’m not sure I do.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Just say community is very important and I’ve been sort of realizing that.
Emily Ladau:
Wow, that was profound.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Well, no, I mean, it’s something that we kind of allude to every time, but it’s just something that I’ve really gotten to know more, because in these past couple weeks where my partner and I are both scrambling to do this life-changing thing, that you don’t realize how much support you need and you also don’t realize how much support you have, either, or at least we didn’t, and it was profound. It just so happens that a lot of our friend group are people with disabilities, and I’ve never thought that we couldn’t count on them and neither did she, but it’s nice to know that, oh yeah, they do come through, and it’s just nice. I know that you can apply that to any friend group at all, but when you’re all in the same boat, for me at least it feels a little different, in a good way. Yeah, it’s nice.
Emily Ladau:
I like that so much. That was so beautiful. Here I am just spewing complete nonsense, and you made such a lovely point.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Can I tell you a silly detail about my move that-
Emily Ladau:
Of course.
Kyle Khachadurian:
We had to sell our fish tank. Okay?
Emily Ladau:
I did like that fish tank.
Kyle Khachadurian:
We gave it away. We gave the fish away to the store and we gave the shrimp away to a mutual friend, but the tank, I was so worried that it was going to go to not fish people, who don’t know what they’re doing, because, did you know that fish are the most unintentionally abused pet because people just don’t know how to take care of them? Courtney was like, “Oh my god, shut up. It’s going to go to who it’s going to go to. You just have to let that go.” I’m like, “Yeah, I know, but wouldn’t it be cool if these people … ” I was just a mess. Anyway, turns out they were fish people, and they were willing to drive for 45 minutes at night during a winter storm to come get my fish tank, and I was so happy. That’s my story.
Emily Ladau:
I think the moral of this story is, find your people.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes. No, it really … That that’s sort of why I told it, because the amount of relief that I felt when I realized, “Okay, yeah, this is going in good hands,” even though all it is is a glass box, was really, it was nice.
Emily Ladau:
Find your fish people, find your disabled people. Okay, now I’m going to make a real point half an hour into the episode, but we got a really lovely message from someone who said that they were listening to our podcast and they were actually listening alongside their son, and it led to a conversation about disability and identity. I realized that why I value my community so much is because I have these conversations on a pretty consistent basis. I know that I always have people in my life who I can turn to, to talk about language, to talk about the ableist thing that someone said to me, to talk about my frustrations. It occurs to me not everybody has that, and so my hope is that our podcast provides that outlet for people who may not have other disabled people in their life who can be a sounding board, who they can relate to. Maybe it’ll spark something in you. Maybe it’ll be a conversation starter. That to me is what I love so much about community, but also hoping that this podcast kind of gives people that feeling of community if they don’t have it immediately available to them. I think that was the point that I wanted to make a half an hour ago.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It’s definitely beautiful though, because when we started this podcast way back when Obama was president …
Emily Ladau:
Those were good days.
Kyle Khachadurian:
At least for me, at least for me, it was a place to vent my frustration at the current disability issue du jour, and it still is that, but it has also more importantly morphed into, like you said, someone can hear us and think, “They know, or at least I can rely on them,” and every once in a while we’ll get a message like that. It’s just, it’s like, “Yes.” I don’t know about you, but for me it’s like, “This is why we do this.” This reignites my passion to do it. Not that I’ve ever lost it, but when I get reminded of it, it’s like, “Hell yeah,” fired up ready to go.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, and honestly … Fired up, ready to go.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Ready to go.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, I miss that man. Okay. Anyway. Yeah, so maybe my mom thinks that this is pointless. She doesn’t. She listens to every episode.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Thank you, Ellen.
Emily Ladau:
I think more to the point is, even if we are just kind of shooting the breeze, I hope we’re keeping people company. That’s what’s important to me, because when I’m just by myself puttering around my room or whatever, I am sometimes looking for company, and I just want to hear people having a conversation that I feel like I can relate to, or maybe I just want to take my mind off something, or maybe I just want to get fired up about something and have somebody else be fired up about it with me. In all the years that we’ve been doing this podcast, I feel like that’s been the most rewarding part, is when we hear from people who are like, “Wow, you make me feel like I’m part of the community. You make me feel like someone gets what I’m saying.” That’s really incredible, and maybe that’s cheesy, but it’s true.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That is absolutely true. I don’t have a segue for what I want to tell you, but I do have a funny accessibility moment that I want to share with you.
Emily Ladau:
Oh my gosh. Do we ever need a segue into a moment about accessibility? Before you share it-
Kyle Khachadurian:
I will say, you and I are pretty good at segues. Yes?
Emily Ladau:
I was just going to say, sometimes people call us The Accessibility Stall, and we are definitely not The Accessibility Stall.
Kyle Khachadurian:
We’re The Accessible Stall. Thank you. Love you.
Emily Ladau:
Anyway, what’s your accessibility moment?
Kyle Khachadurian:
We were playing a card game last night with some friends, and this particular card game was one wherein you hid your cards, but you displayed every other resource you had so that everyone could keep track of certain things.
Emily Ladau:
Was it Settlers of Catan or something?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Mixed with Bullshit, kind of little bit, mixed with a Risk, kind of a little bit. You’d actually really it, I’ll tell you all about it later. Anyway, one of the key mechanics of this game is that you’d lie, because you might be found out if you don’t. Not only was Courtney there, but she had a friend there who has a vision disability. I don’t know how similar they are, but the point is, not only did we have to … Normally you would look around the table and you’d see, “Oh, so-and-so has this many things and so-and-so has this many things,” but we all took turns announcing how many coins we had because there was not one but two people with vision disabilities at the table, which is fine. The reason I’m saying this, was it created this really fun little thought experiment that we obviously didn’t do wherein you would lie about how much resources you had.
Ultimately we didn’t do that, because that’s really unfair to only two people and not just to everybody, but it was in the spirit of the game and we were thinking about it. I was like, “No, that’s actually super screwed up, we shouldn’t do that,” but it came up and it was fun. It just goes to show you, the reason I bring this up is because disability impacts your life, and sometimes it’s how you live in your body, and other times it’s how you play a card game. It’s everywhere all the time, and sometimes it’s really annoying, but other times it’s kind of cool. I don’t know, getting off my soapbox now.
Emily Ladau:
No, that was actually interesting, because I kind of think about that in terms of being a really good example of equity and making things …
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, fair play. Exactly.
Emily Ladau:
Fair for everyone. Yeah. No, that’s super interesting. I appreciate that. I’m trying to think of a wheelchair related equivalent, because that’s my experience, but it’s not immediately coming to me. I mean, I guess if I was playing some kind of game that required a lot of physicality.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes. I resent that people, in gaming vernacular, what you’re describing is called a handicap. I don’t like that, and not just because I … I mean, I have a problem with the word, but I also just don’t like that anyway, because it’s not an unfair advantage. It’s not an advantage. It’s just, here’s how you make this game accessible to this person. Yeah, sorry. Now I can get off my soapbox.
Emily Ladau:
Right. No, no. Accommodations are not unfair advantages.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes, exactly.
Emily Ladau:
I’ve got to tell you that I would love to just continue to talk about everything and nothing. However, I have the world’s earliest wake-up tomorrow, so I think we should do our official 2022 wrap-up and takeaways. What is your takeaway for all of 2022?
Kyle Khachadurian:
2022, it was definitely a year that happened. I’m looking forward to 2023 because it’s the next chapter in my life, in our life, because we’re moving to an undisclosed east coast city, and I’ve honestly not been really looking forward to it, but now that it’s 48 hours away, I think I can finally start getting excited. Yeah, I’m really … You can’t tell but I’m getting kind of excited.
Emily Ladau:
I’m excited.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes, I will be closer to see you.
Emily Ladau:
Well, I can tell because I’m looking at your face.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Everybody that we know and love, and it’s just going to be great, honestly.
Emily Ladau:
My takeaway for 2022 is that I don’t ever want to do it again.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, yeah. It was worth it in the end, but it was rough. It was real rough.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. This was a year, but made it. Made it through 31, flirty and thriving. That rhymes.
Kyle Khachadurian:
31, flirty-one, and thriving-one?
Emily Ladau:
Functioning.
Kyle Khachadurian:
There you go.
Emily Ladau:
Yeah. Look, we know that we were both kind of just whatever for this episode, but it’s been a long year so I think our energy kind of matches the mood.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. Besides, we’re prepping for the holiday season, and next year we will be back and in style. Just kidding. We’ll probably wear the same clothes, but you don’t know that because you’ve never seen us.
Emily Ladau:
I’m wearing a t-shirt from, you know Effing Birds? It’s got, it’s just pictures of birds with obnoxious curse words and sayings on them. I have, it’s a peacock.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Can you send me a link? To their whole catalog?
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, it’s a peacock and it says, “I’m fucking magnificent.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s so … I love that one.
Emily Ladau:
Have I never told you about this in all of our years of friendship. Oh my gosh.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No. I know you haven’t. I feel like I’ve been lied to, kind of. Not really.
Emily Ladau:
I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, it’s okay. You don’t have to be forgiven. I was never upset. I’m enlightened.
Emily Ladau:
Everybody go check out Effing Birds, or don’t, if you don’t like profanity.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Sweet.
Emily Ladau:
Look, in all seriousness, I am so grateful that so many people continue to listen to us and stick it out with our little old podcast that we just started because we wanted to argue on the internet, and I do hope that we help you feel less alone, even when we are being completely pointless for 40 minutes.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Look inside yourself and ask yourself if you’ve ever done that, and you’ll find that the answer is yes, and …
Emily Ladau:
All right, Aristotle, Plato, Confucius over here. Geez.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Okay. Okay. I was trying to do an Avatar the Last Airbender reference, but it fell through and now I just sounded like a pretentious douche, and I apologize.
Emily Ladau:
I also have never watched that show so I wouldn’t have gotten the reference.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, I realized that halfway through. That’s what I’m saying. I’m like, “Oh, wait a minute, I’m saying it, too late.” It wasn’t even the right quote either. That was a total failure.
Emily Ladau:
Whatever. It was beautiful anyway, pretentious and beautiful.
Kyle Khachadurian:
If you’ve ever seen …
Emily Ladau:
Yes.
Kyle Khachadurian:
If you’ve ever seen Avatar, it’s the quote where Iro asks Zugo to look inside himself and ask himself the big questions, and you’ll notice that what I said sounded nothing like that.
Emily Ladau:
Oh, man. Okay. We’ll be back in 2023, maybe with a little bit more energy, but we are truly grateful for all of you.
Kyle Khachadurian:
A lot more regularity, by the way. We will be back with a lot more regularity because we’ll be in the same time zone and it’ll not be a freaking slog to record anymore.
Emily Ladau:
I hadn’t even thought about that.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah. I mean, we’ll still both be hella busy, for sure, but we will … There’s no way that we won’t do it.
Emily Ladau:
Love this for us. Yeah. I hope that all of you have a lovely holiday season, if you are celebrating. I hope that you have a festive New Year, if you are celebrating. I hope that you are healthy and safe and well, and I hope that you know are important to us.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You are important to us.
Emily Ladau:
May we say …
Kyle Khachadurian:
You look fabulous today in your, “I’m fucking magnificent,” shirt, which I know all of our listeners are also wearing, in my head.
Emily Ladau:
Every single one of them. Can you just imagine a pack of Emilys, because that’s too much.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You know the Real Slim Shady video where he gets all the other Eminems and it’s not-
Emily Ladau:
Yeah, “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?” Yeah.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Which is, can we talk about that line real quick? I’m just kidding, but suffice to say, Emily Ladau can never be the real Slim Shady, and that’s the only reason why. No other reason at all.
Emily Ladau:
Because I can’t stand up.
Kyle Khachadurian:
That’s right.
Emily Ladau:
Sorry. I ruined the joke because I explained the joke.
Kyle Khachadurian:
See, but to me that makes it funnier. I know that ruins it for everybody, but Courtney and I have this thing where we will tell each other obvious jokes and then the joke isn’t done until the other one asks if we’d like to overly explain it, and then they say yes. and then we do that, and then it’s like … It’s not just a her and I thing. For me, anyone who does that is funny, but I’m the only one who thinks that’s funny.
Emily Ladau:
I was with a friend of mine showing them my dating profile, and there’s a picture of me and I’m looking up at the camera, and my friend took it from … We were on a playground and she took it from higher up on the playground, and I was on the ground, and so you’re able to pick a little caption for your photos, and so I picked, “How my friends see me.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
It’s funny. That’s really funny.
Emily Ladau:
My other friend was looking at it. Well, so my other friend was looking at it and they were laughing at it and I was like, “Yeah, it’s funny because people are always looking down at me,” and they were like, “Yeah, I get it. That’s why I was laughing.”
Kyle Khachadurian:
Rude.
Emily Ladau:
No, no. They were totally …
Kyle Khachadurian:
No, I know, I know.
Emily Ladau:
Chill. We were just cracking up about it, and then we proceeded to talk about how we like to over-explain jokes, but anyway. Yeah, I think I’m freaking funny.
Kyle Khachadurian:
You are funny. Emily is funny. Anyway, if you don’t agree with … Look, I know humor’s a matter of taste, okay? It is, but Emily’s very funny and I will die on that hill.
Emily Ladau:
Kyle, will you-
Kyle Khachadurian:
Actually, no I won’t, because I’ll win that battle.
Emily Ladau:
Will you leave me a good review on, I don’t know, Yelp for dating?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes. Sorry, you just saw my face go through a bunch of emotions. I was going to say, “Oh, I wish that place existed,” and then I was like, “Oh no, because then I’d be on it, and everyone I know is leaving one star reviews,” and then I’m like, “Wait, I don’t need to date anyone anymore,” and that’s why I got happy again. I’m like, “Oh, okay, well that’s fine then.”
Emily Ladau:
Well, there’s actually a prompt on a couple of the apps that I’m on that’s like, “Here’s what my friend would say about me,” or a review from a friend.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh, okay, but how do we know that those people didn’t write that themselves?
Emily Ladau:
I’m sure they did.
Kyle Khachadurian:
I imagine you were truthful and you gave a friend your phone or at least asked them to write a blurb for it?
Emily Ladau:
Oh no, I don’t have that on my profile because I haven’t asked anybody to do it. Kyle’s rubbing his hands together.
Kyle Khachadurian:
Oh yeah, sorry. We have to describe this, podcast.
Emily Ladau:
Should we end this before people are like, “Oh my God, please stop talking”?
Kyle Khachadurian:
Yes. Support the show on Patreon at Patreon.com/TheAccessibleStall, just one dollar a month ensures that all current, future, and past episodes of The Accessible Stall remain what?
Emily Ladau:
Accessible.
Kyle Khachadurian:
It took you long enough. Anyway, yes, please do that if you’re willing and able, but only if you’re both, and yeah, see you in 2023. Oh, and if you’re still here, might I recommend the podcast Escape This Podcast, an audio escape room podcast where they do just that, and if that’s not cool enough, they have images that you can play at home, and if you’re too lazy to click on them in the show notes, guess what they do? They describe them for you, and they have really cool guests like Neil Patrick Harris just come on that show and it’s a very popular podcast. I’m probably late to the party, but I love it.
Emily Ladau:
Not as late as I am, because that was the first time I learned about it, just now, live. Anyway, you really do look fabulous today. We love you so much. Thank you for listening. Good night.
Kyle Khachadurian:
See you next time.